[tkwalker]

A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'

'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.'

'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

'You put your left hand in; you take your left hand out...'

'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.

'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'